general peeves

Post your peeves, genealogical or otherwise.
fallingleaves3
Joined: 30 May 2013, 01:17

11 Jun 2013, 03:09 #1

It's very disheartening to me when I message someone about an individual or a family that they've put information out on ancestry.com or find a grave or one of the other sites I regularly visit. I almost never get a response. I always assume (my mistake I suppose) that they are genealogy enthusiasts like me and eager to help out and share when possible. I know there are going to be times when they can't respond or they're no longer involved in family history. But it seems to happen every time. I've sent many inquiries and only received one or two responses. I try to be upbeat and friendly and keep it short and sweet but it just doesn't work.
Another pet peeve I read somewhere else on here is when people take your photos without a word. I'm happy to share but a nice hello would be nice. Besides, there might be a connection with that person that you would uncover if you connected with them. I made my tree private on ancestry because I was in a snit but I'm over it and am going back to make it public. I've learned a lot from public trees so the least I can do is share also.
I feel much better after venting all this. Thanks! Image
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Totie
Joined: 26 Oct 2008, 13:54

11 Jun 2013, 12:09 #2

One reason you should consider is there are a lot of fly byes on A.com. They do it for a year then just drop. You will have to find a person who does good research and gets the correct records, not some one who is just copying trees.

Pictures are a hot topic. Just remember that you put them there and they are open for the snatching. If it bothers you a great deal you can change your tree to private. Another problem with the photos is with Family Tree Maker program and what is called sync. What happens is the tree is download via FTM, then when the person updates the tree again after the photo download, it will appear that the photo that was download to be the source of the photo and no you. This was not done with intention by the person, but is a glitch with the sync part of FTM.
"These puzzles are from life, with all the ambiguity of life's complications. They are never so easy as to insult us." - Ruth L. Douthit
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hoosierbeth
Joined: 27 Oct 2008, 00:02

11 Jun 2013, 14:25 #3

As for those ancestry public trees…..ancestry.com should be horse whipped by pulling the stunt of “follow the leaves”. Those poor “researchers” click on that stuff, and believe everything they see, even if the century doesn’t fit. “If ancestry.com says so, it must be true!!”

I tried to contact one of my husband’s second cousins who has a pretty “tight” public tree on ancestry.com, asking where did they find the info on their Great Grandfather. My husband’s father and uncles have been trying to figure this out for years…and here are the descendants of Great Grandpa’s oldest daughter uploading the answer!! This family claims they know who Great Grandpa’s parents were and what the name of the lost brother was. Great Grandpa always claimed he did not know his parents’ name or where his big brother went off too. They were separated as children.

Either there is either a horrible family secret………or Minnie, the oldest daughter knew the most and told her immediate family what was up. Either way, these folks/descendants won’t touch me with a ten foot pole. I hate to take their research lock stock and barrel without some sources. So, I join ancestry.com to try and solve this secret and connect to them, and I’m just spinning my wheels, which is frustrating and I think pretty rude! I explained that they were second cousins and this side of the family would really like to know what the story is. I offered all the research I have done in exchange for the sources. Not a peep. They have been on there early last month…no answer to my request or acceptance of my research.

The only answer I can think of, the oldest daughter Minnie must had known her uncle, without her father knowing. Maybe her descendants got ahold of a death cert. of the brother, which might had told who the parents were. I am ordering a death cert for Great Grandpa this week, to see if the “I don’t know” is on there too. “Unkown” is on every doc I could find, except for his marriage license. On this cert it has the father down as “Frank” and that’s what Minnie’s descendants have for the father, so I know that much is true. How they knew the mother and older brother, they won’t break the secret.
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hoosierbeth
Joined: 27 Oct 2008, 00:02

11 Jun 2013, 14:33 #4

One more "thought"...LOL Kinda off topic, but my favorite peeve story in my world!!! Image
Fallingleaves, have you ever had this problem??!!
I learned my lesson the hard way……be careful how you present your research. I hooked up with a cousin that had one of my major lines on a discussion board just like this. Instead of taking all the research and putting it into their gedcom software, and sasking me for sources or sourcing it themselves, they decided to take all the conversational post I was making, while I was explaining how and where I found the info on the line and make it "the source". She used my replies as sources which really didn't give a clue where to actually look! I would say, "At the library, I found a book on these folks",ect ect ect...
 When I stumbled across her gedcoms uploaded to anything and everything on the internet, there was ole “hoosierbeth” yippin' and a yakkin’ about the old folks. Made me sound like a hundred year old gal being interviewed for “oral history”!!! It would be OK, if that was the case, but not a word was written to explain to the rest of the world the “sources” came from a “cousin” off a discussion board. This cousin (me) had the official sources that should had been entered into gedcom, but didn't post them...
so~~~ I learned my lesson the hard way to always put sources in my research even when I fiddling around. (That's my community dialect post for today!! LOL)
Last edited by hoosierbeth on 11 Jun 2013, 14:37, edited 1 time in total.
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Totie
Joined: 26 Oct 2008, 13:54

11 Jun 2013, 14:43 #5

Too funny Beth! I now have seen where someone has taken everything I put on Mary Jane Turner Terry from here to A.com. Thank goodness they cite this webpage for their source. Never once has the person tried to contact me. I been down this road too long to reach out to others who just copy. Most don't put any effort in trying to contact the individual who was the source of information. I can understand bookmarking and paste to a note file, then trying to find the person.

An additional note, sometimes the individual you are seeking may have passed away. I have had this happen to me several times....sad to say. I finally found one and she was sick and died the next year.
"These puzzles are from life, with all the ambiguity of life's complications. They are never so easy as to insult us." - Ruth L. Douthit
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fallingleaves3
Joined: 30 May 2013, 01:17

11 Jun 2013, 15:19 #6

Totie, I don't mind sharing my pictures and it doesn't bother me if I don't get credit. I just think it would be nice for someone to give a quick hello. It always surprises me that people that are so interested in family history have no interest in connecting with living people. I'm going to take your advice and watch out for the fly-bys and pass them on them. One thing I need to work on is going back and making sure my sources are solid. I've made my tree public again and I feel better about that.   
hoosierbeth, that is a funny story! I haven't had that happen to but I have had someone copy information that I later found to be wrong and they won't change it back! Drives me crazy. Also, I've been working on a tree for someone else and it's obvious that someone that is in everyone's tree as a woman's father is her grandfather, not her father. He raised her but is listed in every census as a grandparent yet they continue the error. All parties have long passed away so what is the reason for perpetuating this myth? It sounds a little bit like your "horrible family secret"! If you ever figure it out let us know -- I'm curious.
Following the leaves...very annoying at times. A lot of it is either information easily found without help (like census information) or it has no relevance to what you're researching. When someone adds something merely because of the leaves it's just plain silly. For instance, someone spends their entire life living in the same town and then they'll list their death and burial completely across the country. They can't be giving what they're copying any thought at all.
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Totie
Joined: 26 Oct 2008, 13:54

11 Jun 2013, 16:15 #7

Falling Leaves~ There is a way to turn off the tree hints and have only the records hints. That should cut a lot out and keep you focused on what is real. Which in time makes you a better researcher. Everyone starting out has the beginners hick-ups. Genealogy is not a race to the 13th Century. Do your best and then....guess what? Others will follow you and you become the one others follow too. Some of my main lines have great source material and love to use Ancestry's server to store my database. Some would say why? Why give this company your records? Well, I don't feel that they are my records they belong to the person I am documenting. Yes, I have physical possession of mementos of individual, but I think they need to be saved somewhere, who knows what can happen to me.

Having experienced a total loss by fire, I am less protective of possession and I want that person's life done well.
"These puzzles are from life, with all the ambiguity of life's complications. They are never so easy as to insult us." - Ruth L. Douthit
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sweetpea34992
Joined: 06 Nov 2008, 02:29

18 Jun 2013, 02:29 #8

I try to help out anyone that asks me about my family tree I started working on my tree in 2002. I have had alot people that used my photos. I only do not like it when they put my photo on the wrong person on ancestry. On the leaves hints you really have to check because I seen alot of wrong. I have found some cousins work on my tree and help alot of people and got many ty.
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hoosierbeth
Joined: 27 Oct 2008, 00:02

18 Jun 2013, 14:46 #9

You ve had better su me, sweetpea!! But I do like to share and I now know not to expect the people I share with to share twhat they have. When this does happen, I am surprised and very pleased!!!

As for ancestry....they got too big for their breeches and forgot the fundamentals of researching....that's OK...they got more money than they know what to do with it . That's all that counts (to them). Image
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